Relationships On and Off Screen

Tonight I watched this awesome movie for the second time. I first saw it in theaters with my then-boyfriend; this time I watched it with three good friends at one of their houses. I thoroughly love (500) Days of Summer. I have a short attention span and enjoy most movies in a shallow sense. Once in a while, though, one comes along that really resonates with me. I'll think about it often after seeing it and immediately want to watch it again.

After watching Summer again, I thought more about relationships. I've had two boyfriends:

Boyfriend #1
E was my high school boyfriend. I hated it when people called us "high school sweethearts". The term sickened me because it made me think of people who marry their high school sweetheart. I was (and am) terrified of marriage because of my parents' divorce, not unlike Summer in the movie.

I was still in love though. We started going out near the end of sophomore year and clicked instantly. Our relationship was committed but not really serious until the summer before senior year. We'd been separated for almost 2 months and had a Kodak reunion complete with me squealing when he showed up at my door and jumping on him.

A couple weeks later, we were talking in his car at the park down the street from my house. The conversation was breezy, but I had an abrupt realization. Senior year had just begun and I didn't know how much time we had left.

"What's going to happen to us?", I asked.
"I don't know...I just want to be with you."

I thought about college differently after that. I had no idea where to go and didn't have my heart set on a dream school. So I did the most idiotic thing possible. I chose Utah State because that was where E wanted to go. I told myself I'd be happy anywhere as long as we were together.

I wish I'd known how much I was limiting myself. We all have to learn from mistakes though. And after two dramatic break-ups during our freshman year of college, I learned the hard way.

Boyfriend #2
J couldn't be more different from my first boyfriend.  I met him at a party about two months after the final E breakup. He was funny and cute. I was drunk and on the rebound. We exchanged numbers and started hanging out often with our many mutual friends. He offered me a ride home for spring break since we were from the same city. And things sort of took off from there. We hung out almost every day of that break and were inseparable when we got back to school. He broke up with me after about 2 months, when the school year was winding down and we knew we were going to be in different cities for the summer. This time though, there was no drama and we parted as close friends.

I think of my first relationship as one of those drawn out off and on couples from TV. Carrie and Big, Ross and Rachel, Cory and Topanga...except our story doesn't have a happy ending. In comparison, my second relationship was a standard-issue chick flick: sweet, short and unbelievably simple.

I still have a lot to learn. I've experienced two extremes: a two month fantasy and a nearly three year ordeal that was both good and bad. I've screwed up a lot, but I honestly have no regrets. Everything I've done has made me who I am now. And someone is waiting right around the corner...like Autumn was for Tom.